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Thursday, July 21, 2005

m.e.c.a.r.s

for the nth time i was asked who/what is mecars and why am i using it as my pen name.. for the nth time i have answered but i think this will be the 1st time im going to tell the memories behind the name..
MECARS reminds me much of Masbate, of Nursery St. in particular. We, Marites, Eden, Cynthia, Alma and Renato, were neighbors who found joy in each others' company and spent most of our childhood and early teenage years together.
...from sharing toys to sharing puppy crush secrets, we built trust...
...from sunbathing to stargazing during summers, we had fun...
...from biking/playing in the streets to dancing/hosting street parties, we painted the town red...
...from beer drinking to halo halo business venturing, we valued discipline and hardwork...
...from attending cathecisms/simbang gabi to joining processions/block rosaries,we've known and love God...
while children nowadays have barbie/pooh/mickeymouse as their bestfriends, i am so blessed to have mecars... while teenagers nowadays are rushing to grow up, i am glad i had it slow with mecars... because life is good when you're having fun, but it is best when you're facing its challenges with your good friends :-)

Monday, July 18, 2005

dear mister,

i was about to enter the train when i saw you.. "no, not this time" .. i wanted to turn back but the crowd pushed me inside.. i wanted to disappear but i didn't own a magic wand.. "relax girl" .. i took a deep breath and chose a place where i thought you would not stay but "oh noh!" you stood right next to me!.. "are you not with someone?" ... i couldn't look at you, but i couldn't avoid staring at your image reflected on the window glass.. "wow your built has changed, your look became more matured"... after more than 3 years since we last saw each other, after almost 2 years of not hearing anything about you.. "hoy kumusta??".. i almost tapped your back to start a conversation but i was freezed and tongue-tied.. so i covered my face with 1 hand and grabbed my celfone with the other hand.. "get busy girl!" .. then i sensed a motion on my other side, a girl called you and you both transferred at the other side of the train.. "is she your gf?"... again from the window glass i stared at your reflection.. you remained silent, 1 hand holding the bar and 1 hand on the side.. the girl checked your back and advised you to put handkerchief on it then she clinged to your arm.. you just smiled.. and "hey, you are looking at my reflection too?!?" .. i could feel the blood rushing to my face.. "i need to get off!!".. the train stopped, thank God it's my exact destination.. "whew! saved by the bell!"
.............
it has been 3 days but im still trying to figure out why i felt that way when i saw you.. what was between us back then?.. wasn't it just a budding, platonic friendship??.. okay, there goes my another denial... "May sikreto akong sasabihin sa'yo Mayroong nangyaring hindi mo alam Ito'y isang lihim Itinagong kay tagal Muntik na kitang minahal *Di ko noon nakayang ipadama sa'yo Ang nararamdaman ng pusong ito At hanggang ngayon ay naaalala pa Muntik na kitang minahal **Ngayon ay aaminin ko na Na sana nga ay tayong dalawa Mga tanong ay iniwasan ko Akala ang pag-ibig mo'y di totoo Di ko alam kung anong nangyari Damdamin ko sayo'y hindi ko nasabi.. Hanggang ang puso mo'y napagod Sa paghihintay kay tagal Saka ko lang naisip Muntik na kitang minahal.. " .. yeah, i sang that song when the first time i felt i missed you.. but i was too shy to admit the truth..
but wait, im no longer singing that song.. but the thought that i sang that for you back then still makes me blush... "could you please stay out of my sight first... until im ready" :-)

it's me,
-signed-